Famly Istry – a dialect tale for recitation

Av spen a forchun on th’ancestry dot com an due gnaw, a thowt uz ad gee it a shot an see whur a cum from an ju gnaw, a reckon uz it’s bin a big werst ont brass acoz well, a thowt ad look up mi feyther’s famly an all bu weeyad these ear photers like an my warf said tummy: “what’s yer dadz feyther doin in yon pitcher?” anna sez to ur “well luv yer see that’s none me dad’s feyther, it’s his Uncle Willie” an she sez “well it mun be iz feyther acoz hiz urz the same an iz face an aw” an ju gnaw a reckon az she’s rate an aw. Course that turns my Gronny intut th’adultry an aw an that’s not summat as a want to be thinkin on.

Funny abart famlys an that, my lot, thee ant half a brain between um sote seems, if thee addadd, well they’d a went a bit further lark and gorront boat to Amurica or summat but thee just pitched up i Rachda and then thee ant got no further an Yewood and one or two onnum gorra bit further inter Burry lark an med a birra brass but nonnon it nare cum marway lark.

So enyow anna thowt azad luk up mimmother’s lot but thi warnt no better an all on em endin up being az thid cum outer no weir, an summan um no proper nermz nur faythurz an that but thee all seemed narce nuff, summan um dard yung lark thi did in them days and sum on em went to America but thi nare wrote ner nowt (probly uz thee dint gnaw outer) an we durnt gnaw worrappnd um.

All this ear stuff abart famlys an farndin yer tree and discuvrin larf an gnawin oo wuzoo an weir thee wukt un all an wot thi dun an whur thi livd, well wot duzzit taych yer? Well nowt; nowt at or. Thonny thing tha lurnz is summon um deed befur thur tarm an summan um med brass an summan um lost childer an summan um went int chokey (or twukarse) an summan um went daft an summan um wur this that ant tuther worrever but tha lurnz the murst importantly that thi wuz ollonem related to thee an tha either as tut live wee it orlse shurrup abaht it an that’s abart as far as tha cud gaw.

Istry? Oo wontz istry? An speshly norrat twelf parnd a munth. Godelpus.

All on us speshlyt yung, nades ter liv int present an gerron wit present, kapint eye ont ball an watchin theez ear munkiz int guvvymunt. Forgerrerbart istry ant fewcher, jus sort out present. After all, as I reelize fromt famly tree, aller mar rilashuns ornly ad now. Thee livd int now an suvvived int now. That wurt secrit – just arf an eye fut istry (lark Rushuns sez) unt rest lukkin at present.

Try it lark ardid. Yer mart realize whur yur gooin rong.

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